waiting for the bread to rise…an analogy January 16, 2007

I consider myself a cook, not a baker, so my sudden frenzy of baking this week was a little surprising. The biscotti and pizza dough were pretty good and the brioche was great as long as you like bread that resembles the size, shape, and density of, say, a baseball. Kind of disappointing, but useful for fending off intruders, so not a total loss.

Since my trip to North Africa and the Middle East this August I’ve been on the path to joining one of the teams in Egypt and leaving the US. This included getting approval from my church leadership, my organization, and formally applying to the team. I fasted with some friends in November and was praying for confirmation that this was the best path…and that’s when it felt like my life started falling apart.

The short version of what happened is that after much praying and seeking counsel and some crying I’ve decided to stay in the US and try to get into medical school. I’ve thought about this off and on since I was 19 and always talked myself out of it because I was scared of failing. I have 5 classes and the MCAT left to take, so I’ll be nursing for the next couple years and taking these…who knows, maybe I’ll flunk out of Organic Chem and that will be that, or maybe I’m going to be great at this. I’m looking forward to finding out because I’m tired of wondering “What if…?”

It’s difficult to choose between two very good things. If it had been a choice between moving to Egypt or shooting heroin this would have been a short blog entry and you’d be doing something else right now. I’m disappointed. I want to serve overseas, learn a new language, learn the reasons that God loves Egyptians and love them too. But I can’t do both missions and med school right now, so I’ve chosen.  And I’m hopeful that God is going to produce something good and useful in me and through me.

I need to do an official mailing, but people have been getting supicious and asking questions, so I wanted to get it out there.  If you want more info shoot me an email.  luff, elisse

ain’t scared November 13, 2006

Our all church retreat was this weekend and it was timely. The message brought was that the Church, our church, is to be a donkey for Christ…that is focused on humbly bearing the transforming presence of Christ to our city, not caught up in appearances but available and useful…and that loving our city as it is and being for the city and it’s people is the starting point. Nice as it is to have successful sports teams, the redemptive changes that Detroit needs aren’t going to be brought about by winning the World Series or the Stanley Cup. Apparently Detroit’s economy ranks just above New Orleans. Just. But we aren’t recovering from a recent natural disaster. Despite this, and seeing what I do every week in the ER, I’m think I’m falling for the city. Maybe already have. So at the risk of being called a Pollyanna, I’m glad to be here. Now.

counting my blessings by name October 17, 2006

You know you’ve got good friends when they’re willing to come over on a Monday night after work and help you paint for 3 hours. Thank you Diane, Yuko and Rebecca! The upstairs is nearly done…pictures to follow soon.

Jesus rules and i’m pretty darn good at parallel parking September 22, 2006

I have to praise Jesus for seeing me through another week:  I’m relatively well emotionally and physically; managed to keep internal dialogue internal during a couple frustrating clinical days; helped a woman give birth at Hutzel on Tuesday; and parallel parked like a champ.  Now I’m home and all the stress of pushing through the week is rolling off my shoulders.

I’ve been reading Proverbs in the morning and I’m struck by how often it exhorts us to seek after wisdom (not knowledge), find contentment in present, humble circumstances  and to acknowledge gratefulness to God for His many blessings…

“Incline your ear and hear my words, and apply your mind to my teaching, for it will be pleasant if you keep them within you, if all of them are ready on your lips.  So that your trust may be in the Lord, I have made them known to you today – yes, to you.”      Proverbs 22:17-19

Amen.

Open loops! Open loops! September 7, 2006

So I started reading “Getting things done” by David Allen.  Besides adding new vocabulary to my life (open loops are incomplete processes) it has gotten me to count the irons I have in the fire.  They are, in no particular order:
1. 230 pgs of reading for classes next week

2. Prime and paint the stairwell, hall and bedroom

3. Finish setting up office

4. Finish writing proposal for meeting with Jim and Meg

5. Finish thank you notes from Mom’s funeral (don’t tell my sisters.  if you are one of my sisters, don’t get mad, Emily Post says I have one year)

6. Plan of Action for setting up retreat details

7. Finish blanket for Prouty

8. Arrange and burn CDs for Kara, Lauri and Sarah

9. Knit scarf before it gets cold

10. Complete and mail camera rebate

11. Pay tuition

This is all I can think of right now.  I know as soon as I move from this spot I’ll see things that trigger me to remember all the other things I forgot.   I’m afraid to move.  I may have to sleep in the TV room.  Good thing the couch is a hide-a-bed after all.

too nice outside to blog… August 31, 2006

My ipod is very tempermental…some days it works, some days it sounds like the music is being played underwater. The day I left for Jordan was an underwater day, so it stayed home, and in essence I took a 3 week break from listening to music like a soundtrack to my life. The last couple days I’ve been rediscovering my collection.

The same goes for clothes. After wearing the same grubby shirts I’d been handwashing in the sink for 3 weeks my “old” clothes at home seem new and fun and I’m glad to be content with what I have and not yearning for something shinybrightnew I don’t need.

And as the title would suggest, it is such a perfect day (67F and mostly sunny) that I’m going to turn off my computer and go outside. Last fall was a drag with mom being sick…all I did was go to school and drive to Muskegon. So, I am determined to relish every blessed day of this fall and to my mind as soon as school starts it’s fall. So if you are looking for a friend to walk (dogs and kids) with, go to the farmers market, apple orchard, make jam and tomato sauce with give me a call. I’m your girl.

an exhortation July 31, 2006

I like being back in MI where it is safe to go in the water.  I swam a lot when I lived in FL, but I was always a little wary…gators, sharks, rogue waves (for anyone who remembers when I “learned” how to surf).  Growing up swimming in Lake Michigan I remember the adults sternly saying, “You kids watch out for the undertow!” as if there were someone lurking under the waves, waiting to take us down by our ankles.  If you ever see small children tap dancing along a lake’s edge, refusing to get more than their feet wet they have likely been scared stiff by well meaning parents and are contemplating how to swim without provoking “the undertow” into action.

Lakes Crystal, Turtle and Michigan were seen and swum this weekend and my biggest concern was avoiding seaweed.   As we are in the middle of the fleeting 2 week window (some in my household would argue that it is considerably shorter, if it exists at all.) when Lake Michigan is actually warm enough to enjoy, go swimming.  Stay late, swim long and only go home when your stress and concerns have been washed away by the sounds and scents of the water.  You won’t be sorry.

best five minutes of my day July 26, 2006

It was raining when I got out of class today.  I hesitated for a moment, standing in the doorway of the nursing school…should I wait it out?  find a friend with an umbrella?       I made a dash for it and it only took a second for me to realize that this was a delicious, soak to the skin kind of rain and that I hadn’t felt so good in days.  So I walked slowly and enjoyed feeling clean and cool and little bit sexy.  And now I’m just grateful.  Grateful that I had warm, dry clothes to put on.  Grateful for the cup of tea I’m drinking.  Grateful that’s God’s abundant life was made manifest by the rain today.

self-disclosure = minor freak out July 12, 2006

perhaps that was a dramatic entrance into the world of blogging. For the record, “I feel happy!” and, “I’d like to go for a walk.” (can anyone name that movie?) I’m not depressed and this morning I’m not even sad.

However, I am astounded that within 45 minutes of sending out the “Hey, I have a blog” email that I received back: 1 comment, 2 emails, and 1 phone call. That is more than the number of personal (with friends) interactions that I had between the hours of 7a-5p. And now my head is kind of spinning…do people blog because we’ve gotten so busy that we don’t listen to one another and this helps us feel heard? Is that why I’m blogging? I don’t know the answer to that one at the moment, but I do know this novel experiment may end up collecting dust as soon as school starts back up. Or, I may pitch my mac out the window and go back to reading the paper and making phone calls…we’ll see.